Naming 18

I decided to name 18 “the year I learned to dance”. It was a good year. I hope it is the set up for 19 to be the greatest.

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19 is gonna be wild

  • I am going to see Owl City live in October
  • I go to EUROPE!!!!
  • Marina is going to bless me with a fourth album
  • I am gunna be a college sophomore (eep)
  • I’m going to get to know my friends and KY brothers even more
    • Also, hopefully a pledge baby
  • I’m getting my first tattoo
  • A job during the school year!
  • I also might go see hippocampus
  • I am the KY academic-co-chair
  • Im going to apply to pharmacy school and see if I am accepted

its going to be scary but its going to be 1 hell of a year I am thinking.

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The deepest darkest layer

I feel like its kind of ironic that I will happily spill out all my dark deep inner thoughts on this blog to literal strangers but can’t voice any of it to any of the people I know in real life. That’s not to say I don’t have quality trustable relationships with them but I guess, I don’t want to be an open book. Nobody really truly knows the deep down Me even if they think they do. And, I kind of like it that way. Sometimes it’s annoying since I always feel like I am a different character around different people, so when groups of people I know collide I don’t know how to act. Is this just something I feel or is it more common than it seems? I don’t know. I like to have some secrecy and privacy in my life. I don’t see an important enough reason to not reveal Me to the masses so I’m just not going to. But if I die some untimely death, I am writing in my will that this blog get released to the people I know so maybe they can know some more about me and hear my thoughts that I am throwing out into the internet void. What will I care, I will be dead and gone in the unlikely event that happens. I also think this is one of the reasons I am so excited to go to Europe because it will be so refreshing to be in a place where nobody even knows my name and I can be whoever I want to be. I can be one of my characters or I can be myself and that is the beauty and the ingenuity of solo travel! So today, I am excited to go. I cash another paycheck tomorrow and I think I’m going to book the Stonehenge tour where you can actually go up to the stones. I am really excited about this because I Love stonehenge and have always been really interested by it. It is an expensive day but being able to be inside the stone circle at sunrise I think will be a magical, once in a life experience. I am kind of afraid that it might sell out, even though it will be midwinter, so I am booking it first. Then I will do the plane and lodging, and the Harry Potter studio tour whenever the dates become available (which i am also really excited for but will save for another day, because it is getting late).

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im afraid of commitment to everything

I still can’t believe I decided to go to europe next year. Half the time I think I’m crazy out of my mind and the other half i am ridiculously excited to go see the world.

I haven’t booked anything yet. Its too concrete. Even if there is free cancellation it seems like such a concrete step to really going because none of it feels real yet. I guess Im scared of making this a reality which is Ironic because i know i am already going deep down in my brain.

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07.01.2018

We ate and talked and danced and drank root beer floats in the basement. Just like the old times.

It was a really good night. I felt alive again which hasn’t really happened in a while.

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06.26.2018

One year anniversaries are rough. You’re always my best boy. Miss you. Love you.

I never really wanted another dog after you. Enough for a lifetime and then some.

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06.25.2018

I decided to drop my J-term class for next January and go to Europe by myself instead. I am planning to go to London and Paris for almost 4 weeks. I just have a gut feeling that it is the right thing to do. I don’t really know how else to explain it.

I have only told one person since I am kind of afraid what my parents are going to say. Im afraid they will not want me to go since I’ve never really done anything by myself, but I have to start at some point. I will be 19 and I have always been an independent person and the UK has been calling my name since I read the Harry Potter books 1o years ago. I am not too worried because I am alert, and I will be able to speak English! I just have to learn some French before I go to Paris.

I wanted to go Abroad for J-term but the cost of the ones that I wanted to do were just too expensive. So, I signed up for an on-campus class but it just didn’t seem right. Plus, just to live on campus during J-term would be almost 1200$ so I decided I would rather put that towards going Abroad. I already have enough saved for the plane ticket, which I am going to buy soon and is the most expensive thing, so I just need to save for lodging and fun things.

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